How do you avoid being misunderstood?

Especially with your spouse…

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My last post was about the lack of rains in Mumbai and I can happily tell you all that the monsoon has finally arrived and is pouring cats and dogs!!

I have after a lot of thought decided that one of the issues that Is hampering a happy marriage relationship is misunderstanding your spouse completely..

Though I am articulate and an easy going person who can quickly make friends with all I somehow seem to be misunderstood when it comes to the relationship that matters most ..with my husband…the more I try to sort it out the worse it becomes. If I speak about our bonding issues he then points out that it’s because of lack of my financial stability the problems exist ( Cancerians like having wads and wads of it with them)..and this gives me all the more reasons to start my grumbling..how could two different tangents be brought together this way amazes me and I end up picking a totally unnecessary issue again to drive my point, and this makes matters worse…don’t all couples have small fights.? My spouse thinks that the only reason I live is to fight with him and goes on offensive mode even before I complete my point..then I am blamed for interrupting his thoughts. How can one be calm and composed during this time and make the other person understand what you actually want..

It would be great if we were like children who could easily forget past insults and hurt and move on.. they don’t hold any fear on their hearts and think nothing when they speak.. As adults our social conditioning causes us to doubt, feel insecure, arrogant and reduce our ability to accept our own faults. A child would not feel hurt for a long time when reprimanded but an as adult we would hold it in our heart for long.

Love too is important in a relationship..true love I mean. This would help in developing a better understanding of the other person as you would want to please your spouse. This way you learn more about them and be more tolerant towards their behavior.

Greatest factor of all is TIME. Yes..it heals everything or at least let’s you get used to your spouse.I am in awe of my parents,they are two different people ¬†who have over the years learnt to accept each other’s faults unconditionally and their journey was not smooth in the initial years.

Hoping to be understood in right sense and also understand what others have to say or what they don’t say!!

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