Featured

First blog post

This is the post excerpt.

Advertisements

All the world’s a stage!! My first post is called lonely musings. Since I am new here didn’t know to edit this or delete it..so I am just letting the image be here.

post

How do you avoid being misunderstood?

Especially with your spouse…

My last post was about the lack of rains in Mumbai and I can happily tell you all that the monsoon has finally arrived and is pouring cats and dogs!!

I have after a lot of thought decided that one of the issues that Is hampering a happy marriage relationship is misunderstanding your spouse completely..

Though I am articulate and an easy going person who can quickly make friends with all I somehow seem to be misunderstood when it comes to the relationship that matters most ..with my husband…the more I try to sort it out the worse it becomes. If I speak about our bonding issues he then points out that it’s because of lack of my financial stability the problems exist ( Cancerians like having wads and wads of it with them)..and this gives me all the more reasons to start my grumbling..how could two different tangents be brought together this way amazes me and I end up picking a totally unnecessary issue again to drive my point, and this makes matters worse…don’t all couples have small fights.? My spouse thinks that the only reason I live is to fight with him and goes on offensive mode even before I complete my point..then I am blamed for interrupting his thoughts. How can one be calm and composed during this time and make the other person understand what you actually want..

It would be great if we were like children who could easily forget past insults and hurt and move on.. they don’t hold any fear on their hearts and think nothing when they speak.. As adults our social conditioning causes us to doubt, feel insecure, arrogant and reduce our ability to accept our own faults. A child would not feel hurt for a long time when reprimanded but an as adult we would hold it in our heart for long.

Love too is important in a relationship..true love I mean. This would help in developing a better understanding of the other person as you would want to please your spouse. This way you learn more about them and be more tolerant towards their behavior.

Greatest factor of all is TIME. Yes..it heals everything or at least let’s you get used to your spouse.I am in awe of my parents,they are two different people  who have over the years learnt to accept each other’s faults unconditionally and their journey was not smooth in the initial years.

Hoping to be understood in right sense and also understand what others have to say or what they don’t say!!

Rain Rain where are you?

It.s the monsoon season in Mumbai and is supposed to be pouring now. It should bring us respite from the terribly humid summer and let us enjoy some green sights in the over crowded city. It should throw the routine life out of balance with Mumbai local train stoppages, water clogging of areas for at least one day in the season and only then can you conclude that the monsoon has arrived in style!!

For this year the Indian Met department predicted a good monsoon. So one expects it to pour like always and create enough mayhem but nothing of this pattern is noticed till now. Most of India’s crop produce and water requirements are dependent on this south west monsoon. With an already existing drought crisis, this absence of rain is clouding my over thinking mind. And how poor monsoon affects me directly??

WATER SCARCITY!!!!

Being in the suburbs in the city, water shortage can be a scary phenomenon. During these times, one’s level of logical thinking, planning and optimisation is put to maximum test. One has to plan with one hour of consumable water supply how to sustain the house for two days. With space issues in this city, each apartment may have a small overhead tank inside it in which each household is expected to store as much water as possible. . In these moments even a drop of water seems to be precious and surprisingly everyone of us look out for means to use less water. Now this brings some questions to my mind.

How is it that most of us take a resource like water for granted most of the time and realise and display frugality in spending water only when there is scarcity.? Why is that we fight over water when it is scarce and don’t bother to turn off a public tap when it’s plenty. Can we not shave or brush our teeth with the tap closed unless it is needed? It should begin at home, the thought​ that water is precious and there are people around the world who would be dying of thirst. Each moment we think of this then slowly I guess we should be more responsible in water usage.

My mother is an expert in using water optimally and can at times go overboard in water saving tactics. It’s because she has gone through the trouble of raising a family in draught like situations. She saves the water sge uses for washing vegetables in a vessel and pours them back to plants in our house..

I know most of you are finding this advise on water shortage too boring but if all of us can put in a thought, not just the UN and other agencies who preach on millennium goals, then we can lead less worrisome lives.

Bringing my thoughts back to the monsoon, I have purchased new pair of rainy sandals and am wondering if that’s not going to see daylight at all. Or rain for that matter.. call it global warming or whatever you might I am not feeling good about the weather behavior. Wish like the boy in the Alchemist book, I could speak to the wind and bring rain instead of a sand storm..

As I am typing these words the sun shines brighter at me and I am knotting my eyebrows.

Hoping for rains, for the smell it brings, for the coolness it gives and most of all the memories one has during the rainy season. The games we play in the rains, the paper boats that children make outside their homes flowing them to the nearest drain,the irritation of having to close an umbrella while boarding a train amidst the crowd, the pitter patter you hear when sleeping,the dirt,evening chai, etc,etc….

 

 

Lonely musings

I have no clue about blogging but am attempting it anyways to move away from my constant boredom and channel my thoughts. Is this the reason why people blog? So that they can escape and live in a world of their own  as I am expecting it to be? How did people express themselves before the blog was invented?

Being the first post I guess I should explain in brief what this blog is going to be about!

With the flitting mind that I have it could be anything from the problems I face in a troubled marriage to a review of a song that I have heard. Born in a traditional yet open minded tam-brahm family my writing would carry the views and dilemmas one would face from such a background. It could at times sound ultra conservative or simply nomadic.

Most of my thoughts now are about the Indian matrimonial System and what lessons and hardships it offers. Only here you have every “in law” playing a more important role than the spouse itself. All these third party characters  poison, poke their nose, fuel jealousy and offer free advice to any newly wed couple. Little do they know what any issue between the couple is about! Any conservative family ideals can be dreadful in present days. Mine was a marriage made to a ultra conservative Brahmin family. Now most you would ask why I chose this family. Well arranged marriage is a gamble. It all seemed good before the marriage in the courtship period and then the tables turn. I see many couples who are blissful in their old age. Wonder does such happiness come only after enduring the teething troubles of a marriage, that too an arranged one. Do these irritants give you the tolerance and patience to face life as it is?

Keeping the first post short and vague.